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– In our tradition, the 4th energetic body is the neutral mind. This aspect of the mind can hold the polarities together, allowing us to experience the dance of the masculine and feminine within. By contemplating this dance, we can unveil unknown parts of who we are and the potential of life.

This is why intimate relationships(*) are so challenging; marriage is said to be the highest form of yoga. Intimate relationships mirror the parts we want to ignore, those we are ashamed of, those buried in our traumas and wounds, hidden in our family tree, and carried from generation to generation.

Today, in our society, polarities do not dance anymore! The masculine is in the crosshairs. The patriarchal system is rejected for many justified reasons, the main one being the thousands of years of abuse of the women/feminine. Meanwhile, men are also unconsciously dismissed, wasting away essential masculine qualities.

Men judge themselves if they are too manly, afraid of being regarded as the bad guy or the abusive monster. They turn into a “mother,” leaving their children with one mother too much. More and more single mothers face the difficult task of raising a child by themselves, depriving their child of the father’s energy. In our society, we have created a model of parenting that ignores that we need a community to raise a child, which means numerous and diverse feminine and masculine references.

Authority/verticality is avoided and criticized but not integrated within, leaving us as eternal teenagers, unconsciously in need of parental references while simultaneously rejecting them. We pretend to be free, but we are subject to our unconscious fears and run by emotional reactions.

The masculine has obviously the tendency to ignore emotions and compensate with rationality. Men were often taught not to connect with their emotions. They can be afraid of them because it resonates with losing control and being unsafe. Indifference can be a way to distance themselves from their emotions, from the feminine. They definitively need help to integrate their moon, their anima.

Abuse very often happens as a defense. We attack to defend. It is a strategy to feel safe in certain circumstances that resonate with hidden unpleasant memories. Men and women abuse each other. Mothers abuse their sons by being overprotective! Fathers abuse their daughters by ignoring them!

Abuse requires us to keep shutting down a part of ourselves that would sense or feel the impact we have on “our victims.” It is totally unconscious, but it is the key for us to feel safe. We continue to abuse until we can go within and experience the inner tension that is at play. Denying this part is a self-abuse.

We need intimate relationships to bring light to abusive relationship patterns. Distancing ourselves from the source of the tension (like getting rid of men) is not the solution; it is a reaction. It might temporarily release the problem, but it will only lead to more separation within and polarization in our society, especially for future generations.

Women need men to resolve their relationship wounds and traumas, and vice versa. Women and men must communicate with dignity, listen to each other without judgment, express their truth without compromising who they are, and take responsibility for their reactions. We NEED each other, and we need a stable neutral mind to accept that!

The neutral mind allows us to embrace the inner tensions triggered by our intimate relationships but caused by our unconscious memories.

Our reactions are resistances. Resistances give us an opportunity to discover which parts of ourselves are not on board with reality. They are rooted in undigested memories (traumas or karmic memories) when we could not welcome life as it was because it was too overwhelming.

We do not resist “what is” or “who is” but how we interpret them according to our personal stories and past. These memories create a filter by projecting the past on each given moment until we contemplate the root of this discontinuity, manifested at the physical level.

Without the observer (the neutral mind), we miss the step of sensing (physical level), and we become our unconscious reactions and emotional turmoil, generating unsolvable conflicts within our intimate relationships. As mentioned in the March Intuitive Guidance, this leads us to find a culprit and assign responsibility for what is happening to us to outside circumstances or people.

Masculine qualities such as stability, integrity, altitude, control, and “no bullshit” are so needed to develop and embody our self-authority and not be puppets of our subconscious fears.

Let’s dance together and not against each other.

(*) We use in this text the most traditional form of a couple, a man and a woman. We are aware that multiple other forms exist, and gender and sexual orientation have become more diverse. We all have both polarities within us, and they interact in our intimate relationships regardless of their form, expression, and nature.



Bring the energy of the polarities in balance. Help the communication between the feminine and masculine.


Beyond the identification, I recognize that the other person is me.

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