I watch you dancing in all my actions
Without using eyes, I spy you at play
My old eyes wore thin, I threw them away
Vision grew in their sockets like grass.
– Jalal-ud-Din Rumi
Control versus faith to myself
Your Light shines through my bones
As human being, our polarities + and – create a field in which the energy (prana) circulates. Like planets, this electromagnetic field attracts and repulses. Like planets, our own field or frequency interacts with other fields, creating a constant interaction and movement. This natural movement is influenced by our actions and thoughts. We resonate with the environment, and instead of enjoying the dance, we constantly change our frequency to adapt or resist to the external reality. This is not what planets do. Planets are faithful to themselves.
Our senses are very reactive and triggers impulsive reactions that are dictated by our past and our belief system.Through these subconscious reactions, we create an illusory reality and we react again to this self-created reality – we add layers and layers of judgment, opinion, shame, pride, anger, which result in attachment and identification. We keep our mind busy by creating problems that need a solution and then react being anxious about it! We play both roles in the constant trance of our mind loop.
Instead of just being by simply experiencing life, we need to prove our existence by doing and becoming a better version of who we are. This tendency is very common on the spiritual path. “I am not enough”, therefore I need to change and grow. I bring expectations into my practice, looking for results that can reassure this new spiritual persona and confirm that I am on the right path!
As a planet, I am alone in a constellation of interactions. I am unique but not special. When I cannot hold the tension of my solitude (feeling separated) as a planet, I look for connection and approval from others. I need my self-created reality to be validated by the eyes of others. Automatically, I need to control others and reject anything that does not fit into the structure that I put in place in the desperate attempt to validate my own existence, my opinions, my filters.
Control versus fidelity to myself
A linear logic would tell us that at this stage relaxation and joy are possible.
But they are not. Why?
Because my aura (7) keeps on getting the contrasting messages of both my illusory reality and the cosmic vibration of all planets in endless constellations telling me that I am separated.
Instead of diving into this life experience, and in order to cope with this tension I activate my sense of control. One more layer, where I lock the illusion with rules, judgment, justifications, claiming my own freedom of choice, refusing authority and discipline, insistently looking for those like me who resonate with my exclusive fight. The enemy is still outside, my friends are in the same club with me, and I can be seen by them, while we justify and condone each other’s limitations.
In order to validate this process, I need to betray myself. It requires constant compromises to keep fitting the outside impacts and events into my world view. I also need enemies to re-validate that the darkness is outside and not within my self-created reality. To keep the illusion of what is right inside the circle, I need to show that what is not right is outside of it. This is the control and it robs a lot of prana in a karmic chain of reactions.
This year (4) we have the opportunity to dismantle our tricks. It is confusion versus neutrality. Shutdown versus openness. I need to become versus I am enough. This month (7), do we bolt our judgment and reconfirm the faithfulness to our illusion, or are we ready to honor the universal play, the Adi Shakti, letting go of our instinctual need to control? Are we ready to open our senses on other planets and finally see and accept them as they are, enjoying their vibrations and the eternal play of all constellations?
This year the universe helps us in this process by putting us in situations where we have no control. Basically it obliges us to delegate our control and deal with the instability that results from it. By losing control, a layer is gone. We can go deeper and keep removing unnecessary clothes or we can recreate the same old layer of illusion!
When the architecture of all that is self-created falls apart, this gives me a chance to come back to my deeper Self. Without trying to control my reality I am vulnerable. In this constant movement of my feelings, the only shelter is the fidelity to myself. The judgment might turn inwardly – may I allow this, am I entitled to obey my truth, will I be separated from others, do I deserve to respect myself?
Your Light shines through my bones
If I am faithful to myself, I am prone to be faithful to other planets, other resonances, even when I do not understand them and they do not fit my beliefs. If their vibrations clashes with my own and I react to it, it means that I am still filtering reality through my aura, wishing to dictate what should be. Inclusion would dissolve the resistance. The universe is fractal. All resonates within me as a feeling/emotion and embracing this experience brings me to more unity. Each situation is an opportunity to discover a part of myself. I can only perceive who I am.
Only by welcoming my fears and surrendering to the tension of the Infinity experienced in our finite self, we can dive within the depth of this gap and find an infinite source of love. The love of the creator for its creation. Fears give me a form, a sense of limits. Love gives me the expansion. It is the cement of the painful paradox of existence and non-existence.
The sharp look and always renewed self-forgiveness on my limitations will make clear the impact that they have on others, ultimately removing from them the reason to exist. Forgiveness and self-forgiveness are two aspects to move forward and keep expanding.
From the community and the expectations I had for its realization, I come back to myself and reiterate the commitment to myself as the only possible way to include others.
It is then that I will be touched by the existence of other constellations in the animal and vegetable kingdoms, feeling that they are a part of me. By lowering my overthinking in their presence, I allow peace within myself and give them an opportunity to trust and heal.
So often I put up my hands
To shield my eyes from you
Wild hilarious miracle!
Your Light shines through my bones.
– Jalal-ud-Din Rumi
KRIYAS AND MEDITATIONS
SUN SALUTATIONS facing the Sunrise, with the attitude of honoring this source of light – 11 min.
The Sun reflects the cosmic light in our lives, awakening the soul and elevating our character. Improves health, vitality, digestive fire, tune ourselves to our highest goals.
Connection between my own creative energy (2nd chakra) and the cosmic play (6th chakra). Containing the fire of my own desires, I crystallize faith toward myself. Bringing back the flow within (water element), I can surrender to the flow without.
Connect to the planets through the mudra. Become aware of the impact of the macrocosmos on your microcosmos. Become aware of the impact of your microcosmos on the macrocosmos. Enter the consciousness of the constellation where I exist simply by experiencing life.
Full moon, July 5
Awareness of my creative power and the impact of my actions, I bow to the Adi Shakti.