“In April, don’t uncover yourself even one thread”.
Spring is setting in, but the days can be suddenly cool. The sunny day may give way to frost at night. This is a call to be alert and vigilant, not through more control, but through more presence. Not to get carried away while welcoming the innocence and creative impulse of spring. Not to get burned by this reawakening of fire but to contain it and nurture the seeds to maturity so that they in turn produce new seeds.
It is about finding the balance between our essence and the structure that carries it through time. It’s like walking on a tightrope, I must be present with every breath, every word, so I don’t fall on one side or the other.
To reject structure is to leave room for an unconscious structure. Our “structure” is by default the neurosis we developed as a child to deal with our past reality. We risk living in short bursts and we don’t get to the point of things. We do not take responsibility for our impact and we blame the other, others, for our failure. We end up living on drama to feed this lost sparkle. We find it difficult to manifest ourselves in matter. Our words are repeated like loops, they are boring and toxic for the others who pretend to listen in order to empty their bag when the time comes. We think we are free but we repeat the dramas of the past, unconsciously looking for a solution so that our parents will recognize our essence and carry it.
Preferring structure, we identify with the form that must last because it is what we have become. We remain attached to baggage that has become useless and too heavy (relationships, work, habits, beliefs, …). The inner fire goes out and we get cold. We therefore need the gaze of others and their validation as an external fire to warm us up and maintain this illusion of being on the right path. Our words serve to justify this attachment and identification. We produce a constellation to finally be ‘seen’ by our parents.
In both cases, we accentuate a tendency in reaction to the past and we suffer.
Our insecurity prevents us from changing. The fear of emptiness and separation makes us react as if we had to defend ourselves from a real danger. In this state, our words are like noises that try in vain to fill the void that we cannot welcome or contemplate.
It is in this same emptiness that we can welcome the undigested sensations and emotions of our childhood that still unconsciously control us today. Where our past stirs in the face of the unknown. Where our words automatically hurt someone we love.
As children, completely dependent on others for our survival (often the parents), in full growth, our nervous system and our psyche could not welcome the absence of certainty. Separation, abandonment, rejection, judgment of who we were, … unconsciously rhymed with certain death! Developing a neurosis allowed us to deal with this unacceptable situation and to continue to ‘function’.
As adults, we have the capacity to welcome these memories and let go of our defence systems that have become useless.
This emptiness is the possibility of touching our neutral mind (4), where we can recognise our tendencies and let the form that will serve our essence emerge.
This emptiness where essence and form become one, as in a dance.
In this dance, my words are only an expression of the moment when the unlimited and the limited meet. My words follow each other with melody and rhythm, faithful to the silence, sometimes posing the limit and the contraction, sometimes posing the madness and the expansion.
As if on a wire, suspended between two seemingly opposing dimensions, I experience my “structuressence”, a balance that is ephemeral but seems eternal.
In this perspective, what we are experiencing today through the economic and political crisis, inflation, the impossibility of projecting a sense of security onto our seemingly fragile institutions is both a danger and an opportunity.
Danger if we drown in insecurity and doubt, like the child without its parents.
Opportunity, if we are stable and confident. We can thus perceive the collapse of a collective structure that maintains a sense of security at the expense of innocence and joy, at the expense of spontaneity and creativity, as the opening of a new field of possibilities where structures serve joy!
Only the neutral mind can allow us to contemplate this tension without falling into collective hysteria, without finding a culprit outside, without creating conflicts to distance ourselves from our fears, without falling into abuse to stop (re)feeling.
Let’s use this period to question our habits, our beliefs, our sense of security anchored on the outside, …
Let us listen to our hurts and our words.
Let us meditate, meditate, meditate, … without expectation, and without the will to fill a bottomless void.
In April, let’s stay on the edge … of the razor ☺.
KRIYA AND MEDITATION
It gives us the possibility to find the form that serves our essence, and to find the balance between the sun (fire, agni) and the moon (soma).