GOD LOOKED AT ME,
AND I SAID TO MYSELF,
“IT IS ONLY ME”,
BUT I REALIZED THAT IT WAS ENOUGH.
11 is also 2 (1+1), the negative mind.
The negative mind gives us the capacity to protect ourselves against dangers and threats. It makes the soul’s journey in this life safe. It is plugged into the collective unconscious memories and gives us the capacity to protect ourselves by tapping into unconscious resources accumulated through human evolution.
At the physical level, the part of our nervous system connected to this instinctive knowledge is the autonomous nervous system.
When we are a child (0 to 7 years old), we structure our autonomous nervous system according to our circumstances (it starts in the womb already). If the intensity of our life compromises our safety, we say NO to life (negative mind), and our nervous system freezes.
By repeating the same situations and reactions in our childhood, we lock our nervous system in specific stress responses to limit the impact of our environment and relationships on us. This allows us to survive, and we have no choice, but we also have to shut down part of ourselves to fit those defense mechanisms and strategies that we call our neurosis, which gives us a sense of control.
Depending on the family context and the level of listening and compassion of our parents, our wounds and traumas (and the strategies to cope with them) leave on us different marks, certain more imprinted and destructive than others.
These frozen parts are reservoirs of sexual and creative energy waiting for us to be embraced. Remember you as a child before you had to close and contract the juice of life you embodied, your playfulness, and your innocence.
As adults, keeping these defense mechanisms means protecting ourselves against us!
For most of us, no outside danger compromises our safety. But our mind still perceives those painful memories from the 3- or 5-year-old girl or boy we were. When life triggers those memories, we consider life a threat and brandish the sword.
For our mind, it is a “place” to avoid and not go to anymore. Those frozen “places” limit our capacity to receive life and project ourselves into it. They encapsulate the “I AM NOT ENOUGH” (to receive love) experience in our childhood.
To reconnect to this infinite field of possibilities in our life, to reflect its potential and manifest it, we need a clear container to receive them. We need to know clearly where we come from (connection to our family lineage) and who we are from within. A clear sense of identity is our vessel where alchemy can happen. Spirituality is not there to give us an identity; spirituality is there to give up our identity, but first, we need one.
We must incarnate fully and accept the pain of the separation from others to recover the separated parts within.
We must take responsibility for our lives, choices, and relationships, find a job, sustain ourselves financially, care for ourselves and our family, and stand for our values…
This happens when we accept physical pain on the yoga mat. The prana does not flow where we block life, and this congestion generates pain. Without being connected to the physical level and our sensations, yoga does not help!
Plugging into this infinite source of sexual and creative energy without this defined identity, which gives boundaries and a container to digest this new information, might become toxic and generate confusion. We don’t become yogis but yoyos, moving from too much excitement to tiredness and numbness, struggling to integrate the impact of too much. Such “too much” spiritual experience might be traumatic since our nervous system perceives what is happening as a threat. We can even move into psychosis. Any drugs, even “natural,” will increase that tendency.
Today, our sense of identity is fragile because it is mainly based on the outside and does not emerge from the within. We compete on social media to get attention and validation, compare, and build an identity based on external criteria. This gives us the illusion of belonging and covers our fear of separation. But this identity cannot be the crucible where we hold the light released by our forgotten parts.
We must return to our roots and build a sense of self deeply connected to our blood lineages. We need to dare to be, to play in the Maya, to be a king or a queen; then we can give it up (which means letting go of attachment and identification)! We will have something to sacrifice.
Without that, we abuse spirituality to exist, and it is never enough!
We need a stable and strong identity and a stable nervous system to receive the unknown, digest it into our lives, and serve others.
WE NEED A STABLE NERVOUS SYSTEM TO ACCEPT TO BE SEEN BY GOD AND STOP TO HIDE!
MEDITATION
