Praise of the moment
August is the 8th month of the year. 8 is connected to the pranic body, the constant movement of breath and energy. This breath, which invites itself into us beyond our will, brings us back into the present moment by connecting us to our body and our sensations. It is like an ocean which, with each wave, settles on the shore and withdraws. Like the oceans, its rhythm is very much linked to the electromagnetic field of the moon, like our breathing which changes according to our thoughts and emotions.
Our mind rationalises, analyses, evaluates, filters, judges, plans, … according to memories projected into a possible future. This happens mostly beyond us, automatic reactions of our subconscious. Unlike breathing, this mind takes us away from our body and from reality.
Our defense mechanisms established in our childhood to avoid being hurt and suffering, and to be accepted, are rooted in our subconscious as memories that have given rise to patterns. These patterns are still active and as soon as a fear arises (mostly unconsciously) we use our mind to control reality (others and our environment) to avoid being hurt again.
We stay true to our stories and our wounds.
By controlling our reality, we become tense and distance ourselves from ourselves. This distance leads to a form of depression, like a fire that cools down. It is compensated by mental overactivity stimulated by the ever increasing and intense external activities. Our fire is extinguished so we use the fire of others through social media. Instead of living life, which I am given to experience it through my body, I think life and project a life that is supposed to make me happy.
We end up using spirituality and kundalini yoga to become a version of ourselves that will ultimately be happy and fulfilled. If I heal, if I change this pattern, if I let go, if I open my heart chakra, if I rise, if I grow, … I will finally be okay with myself. We are looking for more and more intense “mystical” experiences. We become spiritual consumers and this spirituality creates an ever-widening gap between who I am now and who I think I should be.
Of course, this idealized image of who I should be relies on my defense mechanisms, and thus of the little girl or boy who is trying to be loved by mum or dad. We are just repeating the same story. We want to change and simultaneously resist it in order to stay in our comfort zone which, even if it makes us miserable, still allows us to feel in charge, to control what happens because it is known.
Who I am is defined in each moment. It is an experience, where pain coexists with pleasure, joy with sadness, fear with excitement, …. As I live, I die with each additional breath. Light only exists if darkness also exists. Life is a tragedy where polarities dance and jostle us.
The breath invites us to open up to what is, to welcome the sensations in our body, “good” and “bad”, allowing us to taste the intensity of the moment. The space between the inhale and exhale invites us to welcome this moment where the two polarities co-exist, as if suspended. It is a moment beyond any definition. We find this energy during the Amrit Vela, when the dark of the night gives way to the light of the day (between dogs and wolves), at dusk, or when we sink into sleep, this moment between consciousness and unconsciousness.
These moments of transition when polarities unite, when paradox prevails, are privileged for our meditation.
The moment cannot therefore be boring. In this moment, in the contemplation of what is alive in me, without reacting to defend myself, time no longer exists. The moment becomes an eternity. I am no longer attached to a wave, I let the ocean express itself in me. My fears are welcomed and expressed through my body. My memories and tensions are released under the fire of my consciousness.
Welcoming all parts of me, there is no longer any hold for my ego which only exists in resistance to who I really am. This release into the moment awakens my innocence and joy, my desire, the urge to accept the invitation of this life, to jump into the unknown of the new moment. The experience is whole, I become the whole expressed in this moment that lasts for eternity. Like a child, my tears and laughter mingle.
And the next moment, I am distracted, and it’s ok .
KRIYA & MEDITATION
Kriya: Eliminating tension and pain
(balances the nervous system, adjust the hips to find stability in the contemplation).
Meditation: Accessing the knowledge of the universe
(connects to the subtlety of the breath, changes our perception to become less attached to the form and to resist less life).
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