April, number 4, resonates with the frequency of the heart, with love and compassion.
When unbalanced, it becomes a box with mental walls that protect us from feeling because it is perceived as overwhelming. It brings indifference, a false neutrality based on detachment.
Detachment is a trick of the ego to nourish its existence and to feel safe.
If we are detached, we are separated.
But the opposite occurs as well: we become “commotional”. We make it always about us, about what we feel, we spread our heart everywhere claiming intense emotions, justify our emotionality as being part of our excessive sensitivity and generosity. We want to serve and serve. More words than real actions.
If we are personally emotional, we are also separated.
Being separated, we can control. We use our mind to categorize, judge and analyze.
The other person becomes an enemy or a friend. In both cases, we apply a strategy to control the relationship, to keep the friend near or to keep the enemy away. We might hate or love, both are based on a control strategy not to be hurt. Our safety is based on a defense system that functions only with the supports of polarity beliefs because they give us the illusion that we are in control of the choice: good and bad, right and wrong, acceptable and unacceptable, ….
By doing so, our life becomes a dark cage (sometimes in the form of a bright castle!) in which we feel relatively safe but, deep inside, constraint and limited.
In that cage/castle, my love is based on fear and guilt. It is circumstantial, temporal, conditioned. I put more attention on what belongs to me, on what is in my proximity, on whom loves me back.
Love becomes a bargain; I give if I receive, I love if you deserve it according to my own set criteria of goodness. Love is made of “I know”-bricks building the walls that are necessary for me to feel protected and in control.
In this scenario, we close within; we close ourselves to the flow of prana, to life. Subsequently, we need compensations and addictions to distract us from our depression and doubts.
Furthermore, in order to connect to others, their story must trigger a personal resonance with our own story. Therefore, our emotions will not be connected with what is there NOW but instead will be filtered by personal memories and our past. We don’t listen to others. It is only about us! We use them to justify our stories and false identities.
Without this protection, opening us to others and deeply listening to them would bring too much insecurity. It would awaken vulnerable and unknown parts of ourselves!
Compassion is not becoming emotional about events and the life of others – this is just us getting involved and again being busy with what was triggered in us.
Compassion is the capacity to experience fully the resonance of the other within oneself without bringing the little and scared “I” in the picture. We let ourselves be traversed by an unplanned and uncontrollable flow that can be sadness or joy. The excellence of others becomes “ours”: in their presence, we feel and enjoy their qualities.
In March (3), we had a chance to become more aware of our subpersonalities and strategies. We created them unconsciously in order to numb the pain of our primal wound (this deep pain of separation from our original nature, from our infinite origin) and to maintain and justify our castle. We might have even experienced being sick and tired of our own games and cleverness.
With April, we have a chance to rediscover our vulnerability. Our sensitivity awakens and gives us a chance to listen to the moment and let it guides us. The aim of Kundalini Yoga is to become more sensitive, not to become stronger and use this renewed energy to feed our illusion or our detachment.
Neutrality is the capacity to experience the intensity of life and how we react to this intensity, without locating ourselves, without identifying to the experience. One moment is blissful, another moment is sad, I experience fully both and let them go to welcome the quality of next moment.
Neutrality is also the capacity to recognize that each person is a resource to discover parts of ourselves that we have been ignoring. Neutrality breaks the trance of the ego, the “me” being separated from others. We need to train ourselves to let go our beliefs and open ourselves to the unknown. Each of us experience the moment differently, thus bringing another facet of the divine manifestation. In order to embrace who we are, we need to embrace the relationships with others. We only meet ourselves through the other one.
Kabeer Thoon Thoon Karatha Thoo Hooa Mujh Mehi Reha N Hoon ||
Kabeer, repeating, “You, You”, I have become like You. Nothing of me remains in myself.
Jab Apa Par Ka Mitt Gaeia Jath Dhaekho Thath Thoo ||204||
When the difference between myself and others is removed, then wherever I look, I see only You. ||204||
This attitude brings us a constant flow of prana, of new information and new experiences. The projection gives place to new perceptions. Rooted in our experience of the moment, synchronicity becomes visible. Welcoming the experience of life without judgment, without filter, without preconception, the ever-and-all-permeating LOVE manifests. Love opens the door to be consciously in service of life.
From the experience of separation, we move to the experience of ONENESS.
KRIYAS and MEDITATIONS
Build up courage to be vulnerable, to be you! Open the space of the heart while activation our courage to stand up! Stimulate the fire of the navel and refine it to nourish our spirit.
Put back the head at the right place ☺ Let go the control of the mind.
“The essential beauty of this meditation is that the constant flow of the intellect stops, and the mind becomes empty. It is a very quick way of achieving a state of thoughtlessness, and the moment you achieve it the only thought may be the place and sounds you are concentrating on.” – YB